Rachel is a Jedi Knight
by onepowerball
Summary: Mike has decided that Rachel is a Jedi Knight! Puckleberry goodness ensues.


**Title: Rachel is a Jedi Knight**

**Written by: Me :)**

**Authors notes: I heart Puckleberry. That is all.**

**Sorry for any mistakes or if the story suck lol I haven't written in forever, disclaimer, blah blah, hope you enjoy :P**

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**PUCKS POV**

I'm in ninja mode at the moment. No one can see me, hear me or feel my presence. I am the wind made by the wings of butterflies...er...I mean killer flying dragons...NOT butterflies. If I tried any harder to be invisible, I would no longer exist.

"Sup Puck?"

"BaaaAAhhhhHHHHHH." Mother Fucker...what the hell? I jump around at the sound of a voice behind me and my awesomely trained body contorts itself into a Karate Kid pose, ready to strike any enemy foolish enough to attack. I glance up just as I'm about to go Jackie Chan on someone's ass and see Mike Chang with eyes wide, high-five hand stalled in mid air. We stare at each other for a moment, before hearing the silence around us, my eyes flit across the hallway to the small group of juniors clutching books to their chests, mouth's open in slack jawed amazement. Heart pounding (in adrenaline, NOT fear) I quickly straighten myself up and glare at the onlookers until they scurry away babbling excitedly.

"Puck? The hell man? What are you doing lurking in the..." I reach out and grab Mike slamming us both back up against the lockers as I remember what I was so focused on that I allowed Chang to sneak up on me. Totally wouldn't have happened otherwise.

Sneaking back up along the wall, I can feel Mike behind me also in stealth mode. Dude knows me. If I'm going ninja, shit is about to go down. "What's going on? What are we looking at? Do we need back up? Why did you just scream like a little girl?"

I turn my head just enough to glare at him. "Screw you, Other Asian. I just about nunchucked your face. Wear a freaking bell or something next time asshole." I quickly return my gaze forward, leaning casually around the corner until I see my goal.

I hear Mike snicker behind me before leaning forward, trying to see what's going on without being seen. Whispering, "_What are we looking at?_" I feel him climb half on my back, a hand landing on my head to steady himself as he leans out. "_Are we about to_..._oh hey it's Rachel._ Hey Rachmfggfh!" Pulling him back against the lockers, we both crouch there glaring at each other until I lower my hand from his mouth. I hurriedly lean around the corner again to make sure she didn't hear anything but see her looking about trying to figure out who just yelled out her name. I see her gaze swing in my direction and I quickly grab someone walking past to use as a shield. Ignoring their squeaks of shock, I lean around and peek at Rachel until she stops looking around and shrugging, moves back to her locker.

"P P Puck? Err...Mr P P Puckerman...sir?" I glower up at the junior and tell him to shut up. "YY Yes sir!" He shoots himself ramrod straight, trying to ignore me peeking out from under his arm. Satisfied Rachel was focused on flicking the code into her locker, I quickly shove the kid away and tell him to get lost. "Y Y Yes sir! Thank you sir!" he breath's gratefully.

Hearing Chang behind me laughing, I lean forward eagerly watching as Rachel finally tugs open the door of her locker. I feel Mike breathing in my ear as we both watch Rachel stop suddenly at what she sees in front of her books. Reaching in slowly, giving the people around her a fleeting look, she pulls back and stares at her hands.

"What's she got in her hand?" I shove Chang away with my shoulder and swallow tightly waiting to see what Rachel will do. I see a small smile sneak on her face and sigh happily. YES! Mike sees my small fist pump and looks at me confused, "Did you put a note in Rachel's locker?" Ignoring him I watch as she glances again to the note in her hands before reaching in and pulling out a large slushy cup. I nearly groan aloud when she sucks down some of the icy cold grape treat I left in her locker this morning. And when a huge smile suddenly bursts from her lips, a lopsided grin slides onto my face and it feels like we're alone in the busy hallway.

"You snuck a slushy into her locker?"Chang asks mystified. I smirk and watch as Kurt and Mercedes walk up to Rachel, arms waving and pointing at each, obviously arguing about something. Rachel shuts the door of her locker and turns to her friends laughing, pausing when she sees me lounging across the hallway. A slow smile works its way back onto her face as I start moseying towards them, Chang on my six still scratching his head as he looks at us both.

"Good morning Noah." Ok. I know I usually say I hate my name. But when Rachel says it, in that voice, with that smile...let's just say I don't mind so much anymore.

"Berry." I know it sounds like I'm being rude, calling my girlfriend Berry. But I'm totally not. It's just our way of flirting. Don't look at me like that, it's not as weird as it sounds. And I know we haven't OFFICIALLY said we're boyfriend/girlfriend, but we are. I just haven't gotten around to, you know, asking if that's cool for her...we've been on dates, I carry her bag for her (even though it's hot pink, I'm man enough to pull that off) and we were THIS close to making out last night when we went to the cinema to watch some chick flick. If half the freaking glee club hadn't shown up right as I was about to make my move we'd have totally worked out this whole girlfriend/boyfriend naming thing. Besides, she totally wants this bod, so I'm not worried...mostly.

She's lifting the slushy to her lips again and I'm looking forward to seeing her take a sip up close. Just as the straw touches her mouth though, a hand shoots out and knocks the cup to the floor. The slushy explodes out of the cup spraying Rachel and Kurt. Mercedes having leaned down to her bag shrieks as a large glob of iced grape bounces up and lands in her weave.

I see red for a moment and feel myself hulking out. Puck. Smash! Puck smash human who hurt Rachel's slushy! I grab the person attached to the offending arm and slam him into the lockers, "What the fuck Karofsky! You're a dead man!" I'm growling and am winding up to knock that stupid ass smirk off his ugly face when I feel myself being tossed across the hallway by some football jocks.

"Noah!" I hear Rachel's alarmed yell and turn in time to see Azimio stop her running over to me. All the gleeks are being held back by those moronic meat heads and a crowd has gathered in the hopes of bloodshed. Two of the jocks drag me up and hold my arms back as I go wild trying to get free.

"You've got NO pull in this school anymore Puckerman. You think you can take us all on by yourself? Who's gonna back you up? These losers?" I can see his weak ass punch coming a mile away but with my arms held back there's not much I can do but pull away as much as I can so it becomes a glancing blow. I hear Mike cursing as they hold him to the ground and Mercedes and Kurt yelling out.

"Let him go right this instant you insufferable cad!" Karofsky looks confused for a moment as though he's not entirely sure Rachel just insulted him, idiot makes Finn seem like a rocket scientist. Eventually he must decide that it WAS an insult and sneers at her, "And who's going to stop me? You?" Laughing he turns back, punching me in the stomach as his goons chuckle. The air whoosh's out of me and I drop to my knees fighting for breath. I'm totally fine though, I've got abs like a freaking Greek statue. I'm just catching my breath down here is all. Nothing to worry about, I've got this in hand. They're pulling me up again and the other students are nearly wetting themselves with excitement over what they're seeing. Idiots. They don't realise that if Karofsky and his goons run the school, everyone's a target. Not just us gleeks. I see him smirk as he pulls his fist back again and I barely resist the urge to tell him he looks constipated when he makes that face.

"!"

The entire hallway pauses at the shriek and turns just in time to see Azimio fall to the floor clutching his balls. We all watch as he rolls back and forth, whimpering and wide eyed we all stare as Rachel steps over his writhing body to get in Karofsky's face.

"Now you listen to me David Karofsky! I have stood by uncomplaining while you and your goons have slushied my friends and I because I believed that eventually, you would just get bored. I have allowed your homophobic taunts to Kurt go unpunished for much too long, because Kurt asked me to just let it be. I have two gay fathers that could have you in court for a Hate Crime so fast your thick head would due a full rotation!"

I start struggling against my captors again as she gets closer to him waving her finger back and forth in his face. "Rach!" I want her to pull back. Karofsky's a mean bastard at the best of times. If you humiliate him in public there's no telling what his reaction will be. But I know for sure that Rachel being a girl won't stop his retaliation. But I can't get away with them both holding me back and I'm starting to go nuts with fear when Karofsky grabs my girlfriend by the shoulders and shoves her back against the lockers. The crowd gasps and starts looking back and forth, as though they've finally realised that this isn't a stupid slushy attack where the only thing that hurts is your stinging eyes and the huge dry cleaning bill afterwards. I see a couple of them break off and I can only hope they're finally going for help.

I can see him leaning close and I'm cursing up a storm trying to get his attention back to me and away from Rachel. But Karofsky doesn't so much as twitch in my direction. I hear Mike do the same and quickly Kurt and Mercedes join in trying to draw his focus.

"Bitch! It's about time you realised you're a nobody at this school. All you freaks!" He must be tightening his grip, because I can see Rachel wince and I'm straining so hard to get free it feels like my arm is going to break. And if it gets me free to help my girl, then I don't care in the slightest. "Look at you! It's like you're the Queen Freak! With your two freak fag daddies!"

And just when I think that Rachel will pull back, cower, whimper, anything in the face of that much hate! And it's completely ridiculous, because the Berry daddies are freaking awesome. My smoking hot girlfriend does...of course...the exact opposite. Told you. Capital C Crazy.

"How. Dare. You!" Leaning forward into Karofsky's face her eyes narrow and cheeks flush and I feel horrible for getting turned on, but god damn, my girl is just freaking gorgeous when she's mad. "How dare you David Karofsky! You must have been born on a highway, cos that's where most accidents happen!" I hear everyone start snickering around me, including the two goons holding onto me for dear life. And it's just the distraction I need to escape. I'm just about to leap up from the ground and open up a can of whoop ass, when amazingly my 5 feet 2 inch girlfriend beats me to the punch. One minute Karofsky's holding her back and the next, her arm shoots up and he's yelping as she twists his wrist to an abnormal angle and striking him across the ear. He hits the floor with a thump and we all stare slack jawed as she leans over him still yelling.

"You don't know the first thing about me OR my family. But let me tell you something. The best part. The absolutely awesome part of having two daddies? Is that they're ridiculously overprotective of their only child. They don't want anything happening to their little girl, even when they're not around to protect her so they made sure I've had the absolute best training there is!"

The meat heads holding us all start looking at one another, obviously trying to figure out what to do.

"You go girl!" Mercedes' shout of encouragement brings Rachel's attention to her and Kurt's captors and she stalks slowly over to them, while I totally check out her ass. What? From down here I can see up her super short skirt.

"Bitch, you better back off, before you get hurt!" The jock holding Mercedes growls as Kurt's bullying idiot steps forward and makes to grab Rachel by the arm. Instead, she parries his grasp and dragging him down by his wrist, twirls around (panty sighting! Score!) before her leg shoots up and her foot slams down across the back of his neck.

"Oh honey!" Mercedes gleefully looks over at the shocked jock that still had his hand on her shoulder. "You gone did it now."

I can feel Mike crawling in my direction, not taking his eyes off my girlfriend. "Dude. Your girlfriend? Is a ninja! An honest to god kick ass assassin!"

"These other fools didn't give me a chance to explain before they attacked, but by law, I must inform you that I am considered a lethal weapon. I am impeccably training in Krav Maga and I'm a 4th degree Taekwondo black belt. My father's believed in a wide range of training in the event of an assault. And whilst I DO NOT condone violence in any form, as you know, with great power, comes great responsibility. I couldn't in good conscience stand by whilst you tried to physically hurt my boyfriend!"

Mike and I turn to each and excitedly exclaim, "Dude! Spiderman quote! Forget ninja, she's practically a Jedi!" "Dude, she just called me her boyfriend!"Glaring at each other we quickly turn back to Rachel. And I smugly whisper out the corner of my mouth, "Rach would look smoking hot in that Princess Leia bikini number."

The remaining goons seem to realise at the same time that the numbers were no longer in their favour. A quick look at their fallen comrades has them throwing up their arms in surrender before bolting for an exit. Finally help arrives as Mr Shue and Miss Pillsbury run up to the remaining crowd, shooing them away and I see Rachel looking around guiltily at the scene around her and make my way to her side.

I step over a groggy Karofsky.

Quickly rush around a prone Azimio who was still clutching his nad's groaning, "I'm gonna puke" as he rolls towards Kurt and Mercedes.

"Uh uh! Not on MY shoes fool. These are Jimmy Choo Original Knock Off's!" Mercedes quickly kicks him back over and everyone rushes away in case he suddenly chunders in their direction.

I reach Rachel's side and wrap her up in my arms, pulling her to my chest. It's not long however before she pulls back and reaches up to my cheek, running her hand gently across the injury inflicted.

"Oh Noah..." she says tears in her eyes and I quickly pull her back into my arms murmuring, "I'm fine Rach. A pussy like Karofsky can't hurt a stud like me!" She's silent and I know she's still upset so I end up blurting the next thought that crosses my mind, just because I hate to see her sad. "Babe, that was so completely hot." And I'm not sure why, but she ends up chuckling into my chest mumbling my name into my pec's. I try to shift my feet and feel them stick to the slushy covered floor. "Erm...sorry about the slushy." She starts laughing and leans back when suddenly her eyes widen and she jerks away stomping over to a slowly standing Karofsky.

Kurt, Mercedes and Mike huddle closer just in case Rachel goes all Xena Warrior Princess again. That shit ain't something you want to miss! Looking around her feet, she suddenly tilts forward and grabs something from the floor, ignoring Karofsky as he flinches away, before straightening up and moving towards me again. Smiling shyly she opens her hands and shows me the note I left in her locker. I feel the gleeks looking over my shoulder to see what's on the note, but she quickly snatches her fist closed and glares until they give her sheepish grins and pretend they're not trying to see.

"Thank you Noah. I loved my slushy." But she's looking at the note in her hand and I get the feeling that she liked that a whole lot more than that stupid slushy. I take her hand and we both stand there grinning goofily at each other while chaos reigns around us. I can hear Mr Shue talking to Kurt and Mercedes. Miss Pillsbury organising the nurse for the injured jocks. I can still hear a few students talking excitedly about Rachel being a total BAMF and that with her and I together we are the biggest Bad Ass Mother Fuckers to have ever roamed the school halls and I can tell she heard that when she rolls her eyes at my sudden smirk. I widen my eyes innocently and she just smiles that amazing smile of hers and leans closer. "Anything for my GIRLFRIEND," I remark pointedly and she blushes as I grin smugly. I knew she wanted my bod. I dip my head and Rach leans in to meet me half way. Our first official kiss in public, and something like this is epic, it's going to be talked about for years to come. Her eyes flutter closed and I move to seal the distance, and just as our lips are about to touch, and I can already feel her breath on my lips. I feel someone's hand tugging on my shoulder and Mike's pseudo whisper in my ear, _"Puck. What's in the note?" _Rachel hears and we both end up smiling before I reach around blindly and shove Chang away.

"Dude! That's just rude!" I can hear him whinging as our lips meet, and then I can't hear anything at all...and better yet, I was right...it was EPIC.

Finis


End file.
